August 06, 2012

Vindicated

I haven't really heard the term "vindicate" a whole lot in my life. Sure, Dashboard Confessional said it once. My father used the word to describe his disposition after Mark and I finally fixed the fuel pump in my Buick. King David asked God to do it to him... to vindicate him.

It wasn't until just recently that I realized the word applies very much to me, as well.

See, God has promised me things. He's opened my heart, dropped little hopes inside, and sewed me back up until the proper time. I get antsy, sure... I get antsy when I feel like God's not going to come through, when I feel as though I am a loony, and I can't possibly be hearing Him right. I get antsy when I forget one simple thing: those aren't my promises to keep.

This is all very important, you see. I'm finding that these struggles and trials of mine are not only for the purpose of building faith and perseverance. This isn't a patience issue. This is a spiritual gifting issue.

When God speaks something to me, I need to trust it. Sometimes, I don't. Sometimes, it's because I don't think it's all that important, sometimes, it's because it's easier to live in disbelief than to face the possible pain that comes from being wrong.

Slowly, I'm learning not to protect myself. I'm learning that's what God's promises are there for. I'm learning that believing in the statement "those aren't my promises to keep" is essential to walking in the Spirit, because sometimes, I'm going to be wrong, and sometimes I'm going to be right. The only way to stay sane: Let grace cover the wrong, and let God vindicate me on the rest.

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