April 21, 2008


Just some notes that I've written in the margins of the Brennan Manning book that I'm currently reading.

"David's heart WAS gratefulness. It was a true gratefulness that looked at God and said, "It is only by Your GRACE that I am alive. You owe me nothing. I owe You all."

"Am I, with my life, whispering doxology in the darkness around me?"

"Again, there it is...God owes me nothing"

"He (Jesus) knew God's will, yet He still submitted to whatever was in store for Him. He was God, but His life still screamed, 'GOD OWES ME NOTHING. I OWE HIM ALL.' "

If God owes us nothing, why does He offer us EVERYTHING? That isn't fair. I want nothing... nothing but all of Him.

April 17, 2008

It finally fits

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands
-- e. e. cummings

April 03, 2008

blue italics

I wish GOD

Would speak a little LOUDER

or even just

whisper softly

to say "yes"



"here, now, how, who"

or just


I wish "being still and knowing"

didn't mean

"being silent and letting"

Letting God be God

Letting promises be promises

and choosing to place my heart in knowing


When I was a child,
The world, to me, seemed so old.
All I could do was live to catch up
All I could do was die to be alive
But now, life really begins
When the scars stop bleeding
When they no longer scream
When they no longer define me
(they no longer deface me)
This once defeated temple is surely not dead
Because if the grave has lost its sting--
If Death has no victory,
Then Christ has it all.

On Aprils

Ten years ago, I sat in the dining hall of a Christian camp. A man my father's age sat with me. It was April, and I had no idea... I had...