October 10, 2006

Should I Tell Them?

Today at lunch, I sat with my friend, Lisa and discussed her most recent fight with her father. She told me how she nearly decked him yesterday, and I munched on my possibly-ecoli-ridden lettuce. Over a game of Canasta, the rest of our lunch table casually discussed their addiction to self-harm. Three out of six girls at that table were professing self-injurers or recovered self-injurers-- myself included. I sat back, munching on my lettuce, listening to Lisa drone, and pretending to read Washington Irving.

Now, I sit back and wonder why I didn't say a word.

It seems I am ashamed of my history, as well as my Rescuer; I am faithless in the idea that God's light can be seen even through such a filthy vessel as myself; I am so afraid of my sins being exploited that I hide God's power in my life; and gently He reminds me that not even my fear can hide His victory in me.

Walking with you is not without hazards/ Trippings this traveler's curse/ Price paid for falling is more than my stumble/ In a world that is watching and waiting for words/ But I listened when You said to go/ And I set out in spite of my fears/ About truth mixed with my imperfection/ And the question of what to say when I got here/ And now that I'm here/ Should I tell them that You are the one who has made me/ And saved me and set up a home there inside/ Should I tell them that I am a perfect example/ Of all You can do with a life./ What should I say to them?/ What if I'm failing them?/ What should i tell them tonight?/ Now don't get me wrong/ I'm thankful to be here/ With this song to sing and a spotlight on me,/ But lately I'm wondering if you are mistaken,/ If you're seeing all of me there is to see./ Cause on every face I detect/ The same questions I've posed to you/ Like do you speak through the imperfect/ Are we too dirty for your light to get through?/ I want your light to get through./ What should I tell them when/ They're thirsty Lord/ My cup is empty Lord/ Come and lead me here in this place/ Cause I'm honest, yeah, but I'm unprepared/ And I'm just plain afraid

-Shaun Groves


Terry M. Goodwin said...

Coming to grips with the fact that God can and will work through us is a difficult act for most. In the end that is the Gospel Message. A sinless redeemer working through redeemed sinners.

I encourage you to see the good in you that I see God has placed in you.

Shaun Groves said...

Glad this song was there at just the right time for you.

And good blog. I've been here for an hour reading away.


On Aprils

Ten years ago, I sat in the dining hall of a Christian camp. A man my father's age sat with me. It was April, and I had no idea... I had...