Today, I decided to chill with some friends after class. After Contemporary Fiction, a girl needs some actually meaningful conversation. So, in hopes of this, I trudged across campus to the cafeteria, purchased a 20 ounce hot chocolate, and settled in with on of my friends at the "Big Table" in the cafeteria. There were two other students with him today, and the conversation was spiritual, so I was content for a few seconds.
I should rephrase. "The conversation was spiritual-- sort of."
I think something in me was a little agitated today. Nothing these other two students said was really settling well for me, and I think I truly came to recognize people who possess "a form of Godliness, but deny the power thereof."
"Either there will have to be a huge revival in America-- which I'm praying will happen, but it isn't likely-- or we're going to have to have a really strong Christian president to preserve the Christian heritage of America"
"There's really no point in evangelizing. Some people just aren't ready to hear the Gospel, and only people who are called by God the Father will come to the Son."
"Sometimes, I find myself asking God, 'Where are You? Where is the hope for our nation?'"
My reactions to all of these wonderful laments and shrugging off of responsibilities:
"Um.... WHAT?!"
"Um.... WHAT?!"
"Where is God? God is in YOU. Where is the Hope? The Hope is in YOU. Now, stop complaining. GO, make disciples of all men."
Of course, I didn't actually say these things, unfortunately. I just decided to retrace every letter on my midterm outline to keep from cursing them.
February 28, 2008
Whew!
I just finished Elisabeth Elliot's "Passion and Purity" in about 10 hours combined. More on that later.... Perhaps.
Onward to a biography about Gladys Aylward! Again!
Onward to a biography about Gladys Aylward! Again!
February 21, 2008
What a week!
"Nothing unifies like a common Enemy
And we've got one, sure as Hell
He may be living in your house,
He may be raising up your kids,
He may be sleeping with your wife.
Oh no, he may not look like you think."
derek webb
February 04, 2008
Fool's Gold...
If Christ commanded the rich young ruler to sell all he had and give it to the poor if he wanted to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, why do we ignore this principle? It seems half of our lives are spent wanting to "get ahead", or worrying about what IS ahead financially, instead of focusing on things that ACTUALLY matter.
If James tells us that true religion is caring for widows, orphans, and the poor-- and remaining unstained by the world, why do we pick and choose which causes are good enough for our income to be sent to. We harbor away all of our money, as though it actually is OUR money, and not money that has been lent to us by God for His use in our lives?
If we are supposed to do everything without grumbling or complaining, why can we not find the good in what we have? We totter around everyday, looking at what God has blessed everyone else with, instead of rejoicing in what we have been blessed with.
Why is money such a stronghold for American Christians? I know of very few Christians in America that are not plagued by anxiety or insecurity in regards to money. To me, its nearly a phenomena. Can you explain it?
If James tells us that true religion is caring for widows, orphans, and the poor-- and remaining unstained by the world, why do we pick and choose which causes are good enough for our income to be sent to. We harbor away all of our money, as though it actually is OUR money, and not money that has been lent to us by God for His use in our lives?
If we are supposed to do everything without grumbling or complaining, why can we not find the good in what we have? We totter around everyday, looking at what God has blessed everyone else with, instead of rejoicing in what we have been blessed with.
Why is money such a stronghold for American Christians? I know of very few Christians in America that are not plagued by anxiety or insecurity in regards to money. To me, its nearly a phenomena. Can you explain it?
February 01, 2008
A New Law
don’t teach me about politics and government
just tell me who to vote for
don’t teach me about truth and beauty
just label my music
don’t teach me how to live like a free man
just give me a new law
i don’t wanna know if the answers aren’t easy
so just bring it down from the mountain to me
i want a new law
don’t teach me about moderation and liberty
i prefer a shot of grape juice
don’t teach me about loving my enemies
don’t teach me how to listen to the Spirit
just give me a new law
what’s the use in trading a law you can never keep
for one you can that cannot get you anything
derek webb
January 25, 2008
Beautiful Sound
I think I'm going to fall in love with this song...
Turn the page,
Can't turn the light out.
Every word, every line
Carries to my soul.
Dark letters on a page
Singing so loud.
Where did I go wrong
Not to hear You?
Eighteen years,
I guess it was all right.
I let You do the thinking,
I'd just bide my time.
Father to son
Sunday hand-me-down.
Where did I go wrong
Not to hear Your song?
It's a beautiful sound
Moving through the crowd.
Voices lifted up
On high for You.
It's a beautiful song.
We've only just begun to understand.
Rediscovering You.
To have found You, and still be looking for You,
It's "the soul's paradox of love."
You fill my cup, I lift it up for more.
I won't stop now that I'm free.
I'll be chasing You
Like You chased me.
Can't turn the light out.
Every word, every line
Carries to my soul.
Dark letters on a page
Singing so loud.
Where did I go wrong
Not to hear You?
Eighteen years,
I guess it was all right.
I let You do the thinking,
I'd just bide my time.
Father to son
Sunday hand-me-down.
Where did I go wrong
Not to hear Your song?
It's a beautiful sound
Moving through the crowd.
Voices lifted up
On high for You.
It's a beautiful song.
We've only just begun to understand.
Rediscovering You.
To have found You, and still be looking for You,
It's "the soul's paradox of love."
You fill my cup, I lift it up for more.
I won't stop now that I'm free.
I'll be chasing You
Like You chased me.
newsboys
January 23, 2008
More on the Bride of Christ...
I am of the persuasion that there is nothing in scripture that applies to only one situation. I strongly believe that there are principles modeled in the Bible that are relevant to many different parts of our life here on earth.
If men are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, what does this say about a woman's role within the Church? Are we equal in our roles with men? If a woman has the same spiritual gift as a man, does this mean that they will both perform within the same roles in the Church? If the same-role ideal isn't modeled in marriage, why would it be carried out within the Church?
Now, with all questions asked (maybe), let's look at the role of women in marriage. Even from the very beginning, Eve was created to be Adam's helpmate. Paul instructs that men are the head of the home, as Christ is the head of the Church, and women are commanded to submit to their husbands as the Church does to Christ. While this is not directly addressing the role of women within the Church, I do believe it applies.
Men and Women are created for specific natural roles, regardless of their spiritual gifting. If we are created to be nurturers and helpmates, it is unlikely that we are intended to use our giftings in the same way. This is simple for those who are gifted with Mercy or Serving, but it gets a little harder when you run into a Prophetic female voice, or even an Apostolic one. What then? What does the Apostolic woman do when the issue of submission arises in Church leadership?
I would certainly not suggest that it is impossible for a woman to be gifted in such a way. If that is so, then it would also be impossible for men to be gifted with the less confrontational gifts. We are not gifted based on gender, but I do believe that our gifts work differently according to our gender. I also believe that as women of a prophetic or apostolic gifting, we are called to more than loose submission to a vague male spiritual authority. We are called to be the support system and helpmate for the men in authority over us. We are called to be the mentors of the younger women around us, and we are called to work by the Spirit within our own giftings regardless of the social pressure to do otherwise. Is this a dichotomy?
So... I THOUGHT I had asked all the questions.... :)
If men are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, what does this say about a woman's role within the Church? Are we equal in our roles with men? If a woman has the same spiritual gift as a man, does this mean that they will both perform within the same roles in the Church? If the same-role ideal isn't modeled in marriage, why would it be carried out within the Church?
Now, with all questions asked (maybe), let's look at the role of women in marriage. Even from the very beginning, Eve was created to be Adam's helpmate. Paul instructs that men are the head of the home, as Christ is the head of the Church, and women are commanded to submit to their husbands as the Church does to Christ. While this is not directly addressing the role of women within the Church, I do believe it applies.
Men and Women are created for specific natural roles, regardless of their spiritual gifting. If we are created to be nurturers and helpmates, it is unlikely that we are intended to use our giftings in the same way. This is simple for those who are gifted with Mercy or Serving, but it gets a little harder when you run into a Prophetic female voice, or even an Apostolic one. What then? What does the Apostolic woman do when the issue of submission arises in Church leadership?
I would certainly not suggest that it is impossible for a woman to be gifted in such a way. If that is so, then it would also be impossible for men to be gifted with the less confrontational gifts. We are not gifted based on gender, but I do believe that our gifts work differently according to our gender. I also believe that as women of a prophetic or apostolic gifting, we are called to more than loose submission to a vague male spiritual authority. We are called to be the support system and helpmate for the men in authority over us. We are called to be the mentors of the younger women around us, and we are called to work by the Spirit within our own giftings regardless of the social pressure to do otherwise. Is this a dichotomy?
So... I THOUGHT I had asked all the questions.... :)
January 19, 2008
Wedding Plans are underway
Lately, God has been speaking to me a lot about the Bride of Christ. Until this season of my life, this meant very little to me. I have never been the kind of girl who planned their big, fancy wedding at the age of twelve. I have never been very romantic in the traditional flowers-and-chocolate sort of way. Even now, as God is preparing my heart for marriage, and taking me through the process of wedding-related things with my best friend, I still have very little foresight as to what my wedding will look like. One thing I do know is that weddings require a lot of attention to detail and a lot of preparation. This preparation can be frightening, frustrating, joyous, and just plain painful sometimes.
If it is true that the Church is the Bride of Christ, and the wedding will be after Christ's return, is not the time we have here the time of preparation for the wedding? What does this entail?
The engagement announcements-- Usually, the bride isn't afraid to put the name of her betrothed on the announcement of engagement. For some reason, it seems, we are afraid to even reveal his identity. But, when we don't tell the world Who it is that we are going to be married to, we keep them from sharing in the blessings of the engagement.
The perfect dress-- All brides want one thing, if nothing else, for their wedding. If the dress isn't right, the whole wedding can't be right. Bridal ornaments are talked a lot about in the Old Testament, always as a symbol of the bride's identity. In Isaiah 61:10, it says that the Lord has clothed us "...with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." What dress are we wearing as the Bride of Christ? Is it a radiant white that displays the purity and righteousness provided for us by Christ? Or did we opt for an ivory dress because of our infidelity, our unsightly pale skin, or because we thought we would break the norm of society?
The bridal shower-- I think that the bridal shower is the thing that we, as the Church, neglect the most. Instead of bringing our spiritual gifts before the Bride of Christ, we spend all of our time offering services that will in no way aid in the wedding preparations or in the life we will share with our Beloved after the wedding day is over. We were all created with gifts that will help the Bride fulfill her one true wedding preparation (that is, restoring God's glory in the world), but we either work out of our flesh, or we never RSVP for the bridal shower. Help the bride out a little!
"... Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." - Ephesians 5:25-27
If it is true that the Church is the Bride of Christ, and the wedding will be after Christ's return, is not the time we have here the time of preparation for the wedding? What does this entail?
The engagement announcements-- Usually, the bride isn't afraid to put the name of her betrothed on the announcement of engagement. For some reason, it seems, we are afraid to even reveal his identity. But, when we don't tell the world Who it is that we are going to be married to, we keep them from sharing in the blessings of the engagement.
The perfect dress-- All brides want one thing, if nothing else, for their wedding. If the dress isn't right, the whole wedding can't be right. Bridal ornaments are talked a lot about in the Old Testament, always as a symbol of the bride's identity. In Isaiah 61:10, it says that the Lord has clothed us "...with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." What dress are we wearing as the Bride of Christ? Is it a radiant white that displays the purity and righteousness provided for us by Christ? Or did we opt for an ivory dress because of our infidelity, our unsightly pale skin, or because we thought we would break the norm of society?
The bridal shower-- I think that the bridal shower is the thing that we, as the Church, neglect the most. Instead of bringing our spiritual gifts before the Bride of Christ, we spend all of our time offering services that will in no way aid in the wedding preparations or in the life we will share with our Beloved after the wedding day is over. We were all created with gifts that will help the Bride fulfill her one true wedding preparation (that is, restoring God's glory in the world), but we either work out of our flesh, or we never RSVP for the bridal shower. Help the bride out a little!
"... Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." - Ephesians 5:25-27
January 12, 2008
"The Church"
I have come with one purposeto capture for Myself a brideby My life she is lovelyby My death she’s justifiedI have always been her husbandthough many lovers she has knownso with water I will wash herand by My word aloneso when you hear the sound of the wateryou will know you’re not alone'cause I haven’t come for only youbut for My people to pursueyou cannot care for Me with no regard for herif you love Me, you will love the ChurchI have long pursued heras a harlot and a whorebut she will feast upon Meshe will drink and thirst no moreso when you taste My flesh and My bloodyou will know you’re not alonethere is none that can replace herthough there are many who will tryand though some may be her bridesmaidsthey can never be My bridederek webb
January 03, 2008
Floridian Mosquitos are my least favorite.
I have finally, in my treks across the country, to various states including but not limited to, Kansas, Colorado, California, Ohio, and numerous other places where I have been bitten by mosquitos both large and small, discovered one thing......Floridian mosquitos are my least favorite.
Why? Because, when you're enjoying a fantastic, chilly evening on Miramar Beach as the fog is rolling in along with high tide, and your forehead starts itching... then burning... then swelling up to an insane size, it sort of ruins the moment.
But, all swollen foreheads aside, Florida was great... well, as great as salt water and sand can get. I really did like the thunderstorms, though. I'm glad to be back!
December 18, 2007
Crafty Christmas...
It's just been one of those Christmas seasons where I decide that all of my gifts will be hand made. Along with this decision comes the inevitable desire to cook and bake non-stop. I'm slowly becoming a crafty-blog-aholic, and trying out everything I possibly can, such as...
Pocket Pinboards made for two of the awesome girls in my life, though I cannot disclose names.
Detail on the absolutely adorable fabric on the pink one.
And Rock candy for the kids in the church, though I'm thinking that it still has a few days to go.
Thursday, I'm making some strawberry scones. I've never made scones before, but I'm hoping they turn out really well. Friday is the Goodwin Female baking day before Christmas, and then the real Christmas Time begins. Hurrah!
Florida vacation will begin on Christmas day, which is a way for my dad to TOTALLY throw out all Christmas traditions. We did manage to still have secret santa sort of things, and I made my gifts, though I can't say anything more about it than that. Someone might find out. =-O
All in all, I'm pretty excited. I do loves me some Christmas Season.
Pocket Pinboards made for two of the awesome girls in my life, though I cannot disclose names.
Detail on the absolutely adorable fabric on the pink one.
And Rock candy for the kids in the church, though I'm thinking that it still has a few days to go.
Thursday, I'm making some strawberry scones. I've never made scones before, but I'm hoping they turn out really well. Friday is the Goodwin Female baking day before Christmas, and then the real Christmas Time begins. Hurrah!
Florida vacation will begin on Christmas day, which is a way for my dad to TOTALLY throw out all Christmas traditions. We did manage to still have secret santa sort of things, and I made my gifts, though I can't say anything more about it than that. Someone might find out. =-O
All in all, I'm pretty excited. I do loves me some Christmas Season.
December 13, 2007
My next hair cut?
I get bored pretty easily with my hair, which is bad-- because I never know what to do next. My hair is now reaching the length at which everyone else says "you're hair is getting longer! It's so pretty!", and at which I start thinking "Need...to...chop.... need... tooo... chooooooppp..."
Normally I do something drastic like flippy short short layers...
but, I'm thinking it might be too drastic this time. So... I was thinking... maybe a page boy bob? What do you think? Should I bring back that good old 1940's fashion?
PS-- this isn't a joke.
December 01, 2007
The Greatest Story Ever Told
For years, I CLUNG to these lyrics...
"All my dreams are slowly dying.
I can count my years in scars.
The only One that's never left me,
has carried me so very far.
I've heard it said that He wastes nothing,
so beautiful to behold,
the Author of my hope is writing,
the greatest story ever told"
I never knew how true it would turn out to be.
"All my dreams are slowly dying.
I can count my years in scars.
The only One that's never left me,
has carried me so very far.
I've heard it said that He wastes nothing,
so beautiful to behold,
the Author of my hope is writing,
the greatest story ever told"
I never knew how true it would turn out to be.
November 18, 2007
Wasteland No More
I just finished my second book project. It's called Wasteland No More, and it's a collection of journal entries, poetry, creative non-fiction, and other writings about my recovery from self-harm.
The download for this one is free. Go check it out!
Wasteland No More
The download for this one is free. Go check it out!
Wasteland No More
November 14, 2007
November 09, 2007
I am congested.
What a week.
God is ushering my ministry with Teia in with a wonderful simultaneous sharing of a headcold. Luckily for me, it's almost gone. I can't say the same for Teia, though. Keep her in your prayers. Not just with the cold, but as she embarks on a totally new chapter of her life... so new that you could probably say that God decided just to begin a new book.
I've decided to start a new blog. Since I have been writing articles about home organization and cooking for a while now, I thought I would join that passion of mine with my passion for interior design. I will still keep The Prologue, but if you're in the least bit curious... or you want to try out a new recipe, head on over to Vintage :: Modern.
That's all for now, I think. I'm going to make some coffee!
God is ushering my ministry with Teia in with a wonderful simultaneous sharing of a headcold. Luckily for me, it's almost gone. I can't say the same for Teia, though. Keep her in your prayers. Not just with the cold, but as she embarks on a totally new chapter of her life... so new that you could probably say that God decided just to begin a new book.
I've decided to start a new blog. Since I have been writing articles about home organization and cooking for a while now, I thought I would join that passion of mine with my passion for interior design. I will still keep The Prologue, but if you're in the least bit curious... or you want to try out a new recipe, head on over to Vintage :: Modern.
That's all for now, I think. I'm going to make some coffee!
October 25, 2007
Smash Hit
All he needed was PR
A million box of business cards
Careful image consultation
Securing reputation
A clever market plan
He didn't understand
That's all it really takes
He could have played for higher stakes
Now
Somehow
We've gone wrong
This Jesus thing, it's a smash hit
It's packaged right
All stocks have split, it's a smash hit,
It's gone worldwide
Join His name to any cause
Drop His name to get applause
They never get enough
Nothing here to be ashamed of
Those ever loyal fans
They wanna get their hands
On His newest merchandising
Ignoring overpricing
Now
Oh Wow
We've gone wrong
It has no explanation
It smells like exploitation
all star united
October 19, 2007
A Bookworm's Review: Fiction to Film
After watching BBC's mini-series rendition of Jane Eyre, I was far more than surprised to see someone pull off the character of Mr. Rochester, let alone someone who did it better than Orson Welles.What I found was a man who bore a striking resemblance to Laurence Olivier, in both his presence and acting style. With all the brutality of character that Olivier was able to execute the roles of Heathcliffe in Wuthering Heights, or Maxim De Winter in Hitchcock's Rebecca, Timothy Dalton flawlessly (flawlessly!) portrayed Mr. Rochester.
I was so pleasantly surprised, actually, that I stayed up watching the entire miniseries. It was quite a journey through Miss Eyre's life; a word for word journey, straight from Bronte's pen. Once again, I find BBC undefeated in the recreation of literature of the Romantic Era. First (in my own knowledge) with Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, and then with the Sherlock Holmes Pastiche, "The Case of the Silk Stocking" and now with Jane Eyre. I can't wait to see what they will do next.
October 14, 2007
Burn the Maps
we have got a dream and since it started
they all did their best to stamp it out
now we're not certain, we're not certain
who is on our side, who's on our side
older generations made their decisions
but we don't wanna follow their formula
with all due respect, with all respect man
we don't wanna end up where your at
burn the maps, burn the maps
we won't stay behind that fence
and we're not walking on your footprints
we're breaking branches in the forest
so we don't forget where we came from
start from scratch baby start from scratch now
there's no better time to be reborn
glide across the path like no one's watching
and if you hit traffic, honey that's okay
you're the best at being you now
speed up or slow down choose your pace
burn the maps, burn the maps
we won't stay behind that fence
and we're not walking on your footprints
cause all we need is love
you're giving us a deadline
you're waiting for the punchline
we're waiting for our moment to arrive
so give a little trust
recieve us with an open mind
you're busy reading archives
we're busy making future headlines
burn the maps, burn the maps
we won't stay behind that fence
we're not walking on your footprints
in the middle of a big black trench
we're not walking on your footprints
they all did their best to stamp it out
now we're not certain, we're not certain
who is on our side, who's on our side
older generations made their decisions
but we don't wanna follow their formula
with all due respect, with all respect man
we don't wanna end up where your at
burn the maps, burn the maps
we won't stay behind that fence
and we're not walking on your footprints
we're breaking branches in the forest
so we don't forget where we came from
start from scratch baby start from scratch now
there's no better time to be reborn
glide across the path like no one's watching
and if you hit traffic, honey that's okay
you're the best at being you now
speed up or slow down choose your pace
burn the maps, burn the maps
we won't stay behind that fence
and we're not walking on your footprints
cause all we need is love
you're giving us a deadline
you're waiting for the punchline
we're waiting for our moment to arrive
so give a little trust
recieve us with an open mind
you're busy reading archives
we're busy making future headlines
burn the maps, burn the maps
we won't stay behind that fence
we're not walking on your footprints
in the middle of a big black trench
we're not walking on your footprints
castledoor
October 07, 2007
Metaphorically Speaking
Sip at my coffee in this grease ball café
Listening to the crowd maddening outside
In search for celebrity
In hopes of a spotlight
Rain drops pelt the darkness of this darkening world
Waitress sings a song about the daily specials
When all I really want is this coffee and some…
I look out the window to see a carbon copy
Of the latest fad from the no-longer-silver screen
And everyone else playing poor imitations of themselves
Bach echoes in my head, transposed into the trash playing on the radio
Crying out for individuality, but lacking all it takes
Much like the carbon copies and poor imitations outside
So I sit here in this grease ball café
Humming a tune from Bach,
Waiting for my order of change.
Listening to the crowd maddening outside
In search for celebrity
In hopes of a spotlight
Rain drops pelt the darkness of this darkening world
Waitress sings a song about the daily specials
When all I really want is this coffee and some…
I look out the window to see a carbon copy
Of the latest fad from the no-longer-silver screen
And everyone else playing poor imitations of themselves
Bach echoes in my head, transposed into the trash playing on the radio
Crying out for individuality, but lacking all it takes
Much like the carbon copies and poor imitations outside
So I sit here in this grease ball café
Humming a tune from Bach,
Waiting for my order of change.
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